Broken in the Dust
by SmileyCelli
Summary: Bella never let on to how much she really was broken by Edward's leaving. Here, shows how much she was broken. During New Moon. Please read and review! Note: I just changed it into a collection of one shots... unless you guys want me to make into a story.
1. Chapter 1: Agony Taken Over

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Twilight. No character, no setting, no plot. Nope, they are all Stephenie Meyer's, who I am not. Sadly. I am just messing with her characters ******

**Chapter 1: Agony Taken Over**

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors_

_Leading you down into my core_

_Where I've become so numb_

_Without a soul_

_My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold_

_Until you find it there and lead it back home_

I could still see the trees surrounding me. Menacing, watching my impending destruction. It was as if the world had stopped. As if there was a broken record in my head, I kept hearing his voice, "_I don't want you; I don't want you; I don't want you." _I could still see his hardened eyes, black. In the background, I could hear screaming. That shrieking pulled my out of my reminisce…

Quickly, I sat up in my bed. The sheets were tangled around me. There was a faint sheen of sweat was covering my face. It took me a while to figure out where the screaming came from. It was my own voice. I stayed in my bed for a little while waiting for my labored breathing to ease up, once it did, I clambered out of bed. Grabbing my overused bag of toiletries, I walked slowly to the bathroom to get ready for the day. As I washed my face, I saw a glance of the face in the mirror. The face didn't look like anyone I knew. Her cheeks were hollow, the eyes were empty. The girl's face was void of any emotion, as if she was in a zombie-like state of mind. Her hair was a nest, looking like it hadn't been taken care of for months. This poor girl looked catatonic, lost, hopeless.

She was me.

I stumbled down the stairs, looking faintly at Charlie. He gave me a weak smile, which I couldn't seem to give back, my facial muscles didn't respond, seeing as they hadn't been used in weeks. Grabbing the keys to my truck, I mumbled something about going out, but I didn't pay any attention to what I really had said, and what Charlie's response was. As I approached my truck, I tripped over the sidewalk crack. I picked myself off the ground, not caring about the bruising that was going to appear in a few hours. I got into my truck and simply drove off.

To tell the truth, I had no idea as to where I was going. I wasn't even sure if I was thinking at the moment. All I saw was _his_ face in my mind. It loomed in on every thought now. Maybe it would've broken my heart, seeing that face all the time, but only if I still had a whole heart to be broken. Finally, I figured it was time to stop the truck, to see where exactly I had gotten to this time. I got out of my truck, taking my time, I was not anxious to see where my truck had taken me now. When I finally looked around, I could feel the hole in my chest rip even further. My heart was now torn into shreds.

It was a manor. It was a tall, old, white manor looking down ominously at me. There was a long drive way leading up to the house, lined by trees. It was the home that I wished to live in with my almost family, where I would've lead a happy life. But that was all snatched away from me, taking Bella Swan with it, leaving a lifeless zombie in her wake.

I fell to the ground, torn by agony. Every particle in my body ached with heartbreak. I need to get out. I needed salvation. Letting lose the only way I could, I screamed. As I did, tears streamed down my face. I let the scream get louder and louder. It took every part of me, letting lose all of my agony, loss, pain. Then the trees seemed as if they were shaking, but I knew that they weren't. It was just the powerful quakes making their way through my body. Every single thing I held onto had some pain tied to it. Finally, I ran out of breath, the scream slowly disappeared. Suffering ripped into my body once more. I finally let the pain take over, taking every last part of the zombie Bella Swan, and giving the rest to Edward Cullen. I let the agony take over.

Everything went black. My destruction had begun. Bella Swan was no more.


	2. Chapter 2: Broken Man

**A/N: Hey guys! It's Celli!! Ok, so I don't know how good this is, I was never really that good at conveying Edward's feeling. I mean, I can kind of feel his pain, but I just don't have words for it, ya know? Well, anyways, please read and review! I absolutely love your guys reviews, and I will answer them when I finally figure out this darn website!! Luvs!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Twilight. No character, no setting, no plot. Nope, they are all Stephenie Meyer's, who I am not. Sadly. I am just messing with her characters ******

**Chapter 2: Broken Man**

They always said to listen to your heart. But what if you don't have a heart? I sat in pain, wallowing over the decision that I had to make soon. It would shape my Bella's future. But what if I did the wrong thing? I knew exactly what I personally wanted, but it so selfish, I could never do it. I didn't want to take away my love's soul. But at the same time, I did. It was pure selfishness that drove me to stay by her side.

Watching my brother, my_ own brother_, attempt to take my Bella's life was the final straw. The world had suddenly stopped. I knew that if I stayed, Bella and, no doubly Charlie, would forever be in grave danger. Self hatred filled me. I absolutely loathed myself and the creature that I was. A monster that couldn't live without others dying. Wasn't enough, to kill others just for a devil to dwell on the earth? No. I had to put the one true love of my life into constant danger. Whether it is of my species, my family, or even myself. If only I had just died on that fateful night almost a hundred years ago. If only I had the power, the selflessness to leave and never come back the moment I noticed that I loved Bella with all of my being. But now… now I had to leave when she loved me back too. When I was completely dependent on one human to keep me going. I knew that I had to leave now.

_'Edward?'_ I heard Alice call out to me inside the comforts of her own mind.

Turning my head slightly, to show her that I had heard her thoughts, I bobbed my head down then back up.

"I don't want to leave. I love her too." Alice apparently was going for the full effect, as she was speaking out loud for once.

"Alice, no. We are all leaving." Red starting blurring my vision, I could feel a faint growling making its way through my chest. Wasn't it enough that we were leaving? Everyone in my family suddenly seemed to make it their life's mission to make me miserable. Couldn't they see that I was already doing that job for them? Obviously not.

All of a sudden, Alice started to see something. There was a young woman, around Bella's age. She was just sitting there, crying, shuddering, shaking, and screaming. Her cheeks were hollow and her eyes had no emotion, except for hurt and betrayal. It looked as if she was about to die, be ripped to shreds. Then, it dawned on me. This wasn't just any other young girl, it was my girl. Bella… My Bella… I had never seen so much pain. It tore my straight through my soulless body. Who would be so heartless to hurt her in this way? It was killing me, something that I never thought possible.

"Edward! Please! Don't do this!" Alice screamed, pulling me out of my thoughts. Alice's eyes were filled with sadness and pain. She would be on the edge of hyperventilating, if she was still human. She was devastated. I personally couldn't blame her. But what would I have to do with this?

Alice obviously saw the confusion in my eyes. She thought back to a vision she had a few days ago, but she had attempted to keep it from me. Bella and I were standing in a forest. I could recognize it very well, it was the one right next to Bella's home. We were standing near the edge, her house still in sight. Then I opened my mouth to speak.

'Bella we're leaving.' It looked as if agony was in my eyes. In the present tense, I was baffled. So I actually had the nerve to do it?

'Why now? Another year…' Bella looked as if she was expecting this answer.

'Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless.'

'When you say we…' She said slowly, her voice echoing so much pain, I could barely take it.

'I mean my family and myself.'

'Okay, I'll come with you.'

'You can't Bella, were we're going- it's not the place for you.'

'Were you are is the right place for me.'

'Bella, I don't want you there.'

'You… don't… want me?' Her voice cracked on the last syllable. On that note, Alice's vision came to an end.

I was stiff. The world had stopped. How did I cause her so much pain? How did I have the heart to do it? A small voice inside my head answered my question, _'Because Edward. You are a monster. You have no heart, nor soul. You are a sick person, who doesn't even deserve to walk on this soil. You're evil, deserve no life. It's all your fault…'_ The voice was right. The dwelling self-hatred inside of me doubled.

"Edward! Please… please… she's my best friend. Please!" Alice was on her knees, something that she never did, begging. Her thoughts were in the same consistency. She was using all of her might to make me change my mind. I could tell that she was trying so hard to see the future change. But all she was doing was watching an unchanging future.

"She is a human, Alice. We will both be in pain, I know that. But she will heal quickly and I do not matter." I answered in a faint monotone. I couldn't bare to hurt her. Every part of my stone cold body screamed against it. Of course, I knew I had to. As much as I wanted her, I needed to save her soul. Save her from the hell that I was damned to. An angel like her doesn't deserve a monster like me.

"Edward! Don't do it!" Alice begged again.

"Damn it Alice! Stop that! Stop looking for her future. You will leave now, stop looking for Bella!" I had absolutely lost it. Truth be told behind my actions, I just couldn't live through the pain that I will cause Bella, I didn't want to see the aftermath anymore. It was just too much.

Alice looked completely heartbroken. She hung her head low, knowing that my word would be final. _Bastard! Jerk! Jackass!_ Her tedious thoughts broke my line of concentration. I could just feel the anger building up inside of me, starting to brake the clam façade that I was horribly trying to keep up.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I crumpled to the ground, in despair. I would lose my only love, hurting her when I leave. Dry sobs made their way up my throat. Past hope, past words, past help; I was a broken man.


End file.
